I drive a cute little silver Mazda Protege 5 that is a few years old. I'm happy with it - I like the looks of it and it's totally functional. But if someone called me from a contest I entered and told me I won a brand new car, I'd be pretty excited. I'd eagerly anticipate the 'big reveal', imaging a hot new sports car to joy ride in or an SUV perfect for hauling all our sports equipment to events. And then if the big day arrived and they unveiled a 2003 Mazda Protege 5 (the exact same car I already have) painted blue instead of silver, it would be a major let-down. Not that I don't like that car...but I would have just been expecting more.

Now let's talk about the new Canucks jersey that was revealed yesterday. It was totally hyped - the Canucks organization threw a big party at GM Place, they pumped the intro of the brand new jersey in the media, there were radio stations broadcasting from the event, etc. I was expecting a totally new design - a whole new logo, colour scheme, etc. And then TA DA! They reveal basically the same jersey in different colours. It felt like a let-down.

All over the paper this morning people are trashing the new jerseys. But the thing is - after the initial let-down subsided, I realized I actually like the changes they made. I like the new colours that revive the blue and green of the old 'stick in rink' jersey. I like the new font they chose for 'Vancouver'. And I'm glad they kept the Orca logo - it represents the west coast and I'd be upset if we had to lose Fin (our Orca mascot). It's just that they hyped the 'brand new' jersey so much that my initial reaction was shock when the jersey they revealed wasn't much of a departure from the old one.

Back to the car example. Even though I like the 2003 Mazda, I still probably would have raged on the contest organizers for false advertising! So, maybe the answer is to get angry at the Orca Bay organization for over-hyping...and not get angry at the jersey.

Tomaaato, Tomato
Potaaato, Potato
Brayden, Brendan...

I was reading an article in the Vancouver Sun about the Vancouver Canucks' Brendan Morrison's little five-year-old son, Brayden, practicing with the team the other day. Why do people give their kids names that are so similar to their own? They sound so much alike, neither one knows when you're talking to them half the time. You're calling upstairs to one of them and neither person can tell which name you're yelling. I know first-hand about this - my Mom is often called Jan (short for Jana) and I'm Jen. Confusion! I'll tell you one thing, with a husband named Bryce, the name Bruce is definitely ruled out as an option for a boy when we have kids.

If you're a professional athlete and you injure another player with a violent action, there aren't too many excuses you can use for your behaviour. You can't plead "Not Guilty" because EVERYBODY saw it - and they probably saw it in slow motion replay a hundred times afterwards too. And you can't plead "Insanity" if you want to keep your job - nobody wants a crazy person running loose on the sporting surface. So, the athletes typically suck it up and make a teary apology in a press conference the day after.

That is, until now. It looks like athletes could soon be using "Temporary Blackouts" as an excuse for their violent behaviour. The Vancouver Sun reported last week that Dr. Brian Hunt, a respected North Vancouver neurologist, believes that often times in sports incidents the attacker was himself concussed, which is why many pro athletes are sometimes prone to erratic behaviour. He uses the Marty McSorely of the Boston Bruins hit on the Vancouver Canucks' Donald Brashear as an example. He says:

"Earlier in the game, Brashear had really clocked him [in a fight]. The shaking and jarring of the brain affected McSorely. He was partly brain damaged."

Poor Bert (you may recall the infamous Todd Bertuzzi hit on Steve Moore in the Vancouver-Colorado in 2004). If only he had met Dr. Hunt while he was here in Van. All he had to say was that he had scrambled brains and he may have been able to avoid his lost salary (during his suspension), lost endorsements, thousands in lawyer fees...and that horrible sobbing press conference apology.

(Duck a l'orange)

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've likely heard about the book/DVD The Secret recently. After the self-help phenomenon based on the Law of Attraction - the idea that you attract everything (positive or negative) that happens to you - was featured on Oprah, it has exploded into the mainstream. As doubtful as I am that simply thinking about something will make it happen (without any specific action involved), I'm willing to try it out with my beloved Canucks who have made it to Round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs against the Anaheim Ducks. Since The Secret talks about making lists and vision boards to keep you focused on what you want, I decided to make a nice list of headlines I'd like to see in the paper soon (and you know how the papers love rhyming):

Canucks F*ck Ducks

Canucks Find Luck with the Puck against Ducks

A Feather in Their Cap: Canucks Pluck Ducks

Ducks are Struck by the Truck that is the Canucks

Cluck, Cluck: That Wimpy Team Playing the Canucks Look Like Chickens Not Ducks

Ducks get Stuck and Chuck Canucks into the Next Round

Now, let's all go stare at this list and think about it to make it happen, OK? Especially after last night's OT loss...

Jen Z, The Province
Published: Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Those red-wearing, breast-flashing Calgarians beat us. So did those still-hanging-onto-the-Gretzky-glory-days Edmontonians.  The high-and-mighty, "we're better fans because we pay more for our tickets" Torontonians did, too. Even those snobby "our team has so much more history than yours" Montrealers topped us.

According to an ESPN poll of 141 NHL players (roughly 20 per cent of active players), the only Canadian team that has less intimidating fans than the Vancouver Canucks is Ottawa. Egad, are we perceived as pansy fans?

The top team was Philadelphia (24 per cent), which is not all that surprising considering Flyers fans have even booed Santa Claus. They were followed by Montreal (22 per cent) and then Calgary (19 per cent).

Why aren't we at the top of the list? I pondered this question and came up with a few possible reasons that players might be having peaceful pleasant dreams -- instead of nightmares -- before visiting GM Place.

We dress like my husband does when I'm not there to guide him: totally unco-ordinated. Some of us are in red and blue. Others are in blue and green. Some don the yellow and orange. Let's just pick a jersey and stick with it so we can all wear the same team colours and look more imposing from the ice.

Who's afraid of the big, bad orca? Animals like sharks and panthers on logos look aggressive and scary. Shamu jumping out of a C? Not so much.  What's a whale going to do? Splash you with his tricks? Even Fin, the Canucks mascot, could use some lessons in intimidation. Harvey the Hound in Calgary always seems to be stirring up trouble, including once driving a mini Zamboni over a Vancouver jersey at centre ice.

We've got to lose that darned tree-hugging, peace-loving Lotus Land reputation because people probably think we're too happy and laid-back to be intimidating. I guess we've all got to jump out of our seats more, wave our arms more, yell more, boo more -- anything.

Where are the crazies? I hate to bring up Calgary again, but remember that Flames fan who jumped over the glass naked and knocked himself unconscious on the ice? Seemingly insane fans give the impression of deep-rooted passion.  The Ultimate Fan Contest currently running on the Canucks website would be the perfect occasion to show off some outrageous stunts. C'mon people, nobody's got anything better than kids and dogs in Canucks paraphernalia?

With 600 fewer fans than Calgary and 2,600 less seats than Montreal, we're often at a size disadvantage. We need to develop a Napoleon Complex to try to make up for our smaller size by being louder, bolder and wilder.

Let's get things started at tonight's game and turn around this lame fan reputation we've got in the minds of NHL players. I'll capture the whale if you bring the truck full of megaphones.

Click here for my March 2007 BC Business article on Orca Bay President & CEO Chris Zimmerman.

Fan voting for Eastern and Western Conference starting lineups in the January 24th 2007 All-Star game in Dallas closes at 8:59PM on January 2, and with 428,832 votes as of yesterday, middle-of-the-road defenseman Fitzpatrick is positioned to make the team.  If you haven’t already heard, 22-year-old Steve Schmid of Auburn, NY, started an online campaign at voteforrory.com to vote the Vancouver Canuck in as a write-in nominee.

Sure, Rory seems like a great guy, and I'm sure playing in the All-Star game would be a cool experience for him.  But in my opinion, his presence in the lineup would ruin the impressive status and implied talent that being named an 'All-Star' once represented. Will he forever be referred to as 'All-Star Rory Fitzpatrick' from now on?   That just doesn't seem right.  Whether fans are choosing Rory as a representative of the average, hard-working player, to protest the voting system, or to spice up an annual event they feel is boring, their motives are not to put the most skilled player in the lineup.

Let's compare this All-Star situation to the Christmas-Star.  The star goes on the top of your Christmas tree because it is the shiniest, most brilliant, biggest and best of all the decorations on the tree.  Now what would your tree look like if you just put a regular old Christmas decoration on the top?  Not quite the same effect, is it?  It looks out-of-place and makes the whole tree look kind of dowdy, doesn't it?

           

All-Stars are supposed to be the best of all the players in the league.  Like your Christmas tree, if you put something ordinary where a star should be, it just won't be the same.  He will look out-of-place and will tarnish the whole event.

It's gonna be a slow year for Vancouver's puck bunnies (PBs). Slower than the hamster wheel turning in NY Islanders owner Charles Wang's head. You see, I was inspired by the gals over at Hot Oil to check out the marital status of the Canucks, and from what I could find, there are only four guys for the PBs to scrap over (assuming all those 'taken' guys are faithful). Watch out, Vancouver Giants... the PBs are gonna be achin' for some hockey loin and you guys are next in line.

Married

Markus Naslund - Markus and his wife Lotta have three children, Rebecca, Isabella and Alex.

Roberto Luongo - Roberto and his wife Gina were married this past spring.

Mattias Ohlund - Mattias and his wife Linda have two children, Viktor and Hannah.

Kevin Bieksa - Married to Katie.

Sami Salo - Sami and his wife Johanna have a daughter named Julia and a son named Oliver.

Brendan Morrison - Brendan is married to Erin, and they have a son, Brayden, and two daughters.

Willie Mitchell - Got married in the off-season of '06.

Trevor Linden - Married to wife Cristina.

Ryan Kesler - Married and has 3 dogs.

Daniel Sedin - Daniel and wife Marinette welcomed daughter Ronga to the family this past summer.

Rory Fitzpatrick - Rory and wife Tracey have four kids: Hannah (8 ), Brady (5), Conner (3) and Rory (1).

Matt Cooke - Matt and his wife Michelle have two daughters, Gabby and Reece and a son named Jackson.

Henrik Sedin - Henrik married his girlfriend Johanna this past summer.

Dany Sabourin - Has a wife, Cindy, who was in a severe car accident in 2003, and children (not sure how many).

Jan Bulis - Has a wife Iva and son, Jan.

Girlfriend

Luc Bourdon - Has a longterm girlfriend, Sarah Daly

Alexandre Burrows - Has a girlfriend Nancy.

Josh Green - Girlfriend is Krystin.

Single

Lukas Krajicek - ?

Taylor Pyatt - ?

Tommi Santala - ?

Marc Chouinard - Single.

UPDATE: Pyatt apparently is not single. He's living with his girlfriend in Yaletown. And as for Bourdon (although he's been sent back down to junior), I hear his girlfriend's name is Charlene, not Sarah.

UPDATE: Turns out Trevor Linden might be single too. Rumour has it he was divorced a couple of years ago.

UPDATE: One of The Pink Seats readers sent me these juicy tips (but don't hold me to them - I don't know how true they are!): Linden and his wife are still working out their divorce settlement and she supposedly in a relationship with Linden's brother now. Santala proposed to his girlfriend at Christmas, Sabourin and his wife have a 17 month old daughter, Burrows is prowling the clubs even though he's got a girlfriend and Josh Green also proposed to his girlfriend.

UPDATE: Seriously, does anyone know the truth about Linden??? A reader now tells me "Trevor is definitely still married to Christina...there is no divorce and she is definintely not dating Jamie his brother. Christina actually owns a clothing store in Yaletown and Trevor and her spend their time lying low and biking." What is the truth?

UPDATE (again!):   According to the newest issue of Vancouver magazine, Trevor Linden is, in fact, married.  Several times during the article the author makes reference to his wife, Christina.

UPDATE:  The Pink Seats reader Rebecca tells us that Linden and Christina have been happily married for years and she owns a boutique in Yaletown called Basquiat: 

http://www.vancouverplus.ca/shopping_services/basquiat/1059435

 

Photo Source

September 26th was the Canucks' Swedish players the Sedin twins' (Daniel and Henrik) 26th birthday.  We're willing to be they gave each other matching snowflake sweaters.

Top Vancouver Canucks prospect Luc Bourdon is probably just bagged from tough practices, but has anyone else noticed that he looks like he's been on the bottle in his photos (see photo from the Vancouver Sun below)?  Poor guy had some majorly red, puffy eyes goin' on for his first photo shoot.  Not even on the team yet and we've got a nickname for him:  Luc Bourbon.